Ralph really likes his allotment. But when Morgan moves in to an allotment nearby with his Love Pad and his erotic garden gnomes there can only be trouble.
Ralph is a man who is proud of his allotment. He has already seen off Ron Armitage, who was cheating at the county show, and now he has to deal with his new neighbour Morgan. Morgan has a collection of erotic garden gnomes and calls his shed 'The Love Pad'. Ralph is not happy, especially when Morgan's gnomes are found all over his plot. He becomes rivals with Morgan, while his wife April, whom Ralph hardly notices, goes on holiday. Then the police question Ralph and dig up his allotment, expecting to find April's body. They don't, but Ralph starts to suspect Morgan of burying her on his allotment. He goes over one night to investigate, breaking into Morgan's Love Pad. He discovers that Morgan is a burglar and has hidden the stolen goods in his Love Pad, and Ralph also finds April, alive, with her lover Ron Armitage. Ron and Ralph fight and the Love Pad catches fire. Ralph rings Morgan and tells him that the Love Pad is on fire and Morgan comes tearing down on his bicycle and is quickly arrested. But Ralph realises that Morgan is, although a criminal, a dedicated gardener because, as he is dragged off to prison, Morgan screams: 'You're ruining my parsnips.'